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For those who may not have had the "joy" of meeting a certain individual known as D.O.T. in Thundercats fandoms, let me explain.
D.O.T. (AKA U-haul, Me, The Crow and various other aliases) is a Spammer who keeps popping up and trying to piss off as many Thundercats fans as he can. His favourite haunt appears to be the forum at a site called Mumm-Ra's Pyramid, but he had a brief sojourn on Cheezey's board in summer 2000. To make matters worse, he'll disappear for a few months and then pop up again with more of his crap.
Anyway, I think it's time someone MSTed one of his posts - I've chosen this one because it was the only one I could find that was more than a single sentence. And, since it's the Thundercats fans he's targetting, I'll let Wilykit and Wilykat handle this.
For more on Whiddaw and Justin Sonnentag (AKA Stone Cold), go to www.cheezey.com/thundercats/tcat.html and click on where it says Flames, rants and hatemail
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The Thunderkittens are on Cats' Lair duty while the older Thundercats are off on an expedition somewhere. Naturally, they are getting kind of bored and Wilykit is rummaging through Lion-O's things, looking at all the messages to the Mutants and Lunatacs that he has intercepted. Suddenly, something catches her eye.
WILYKIT {running to the door}: Hey! Kat! Come see what I've found!
{Wilykat, who has just been on Panthro's new Battle Simulator for the umpteenth time, rushes in}
WILYKAT: What is it, Kit? What have you found this time?
WILYKIT: I think this could be BIG - look at who it's addressed to!
{She points to the words "Message for Mummra" on the envelope}
WILYKAT: WOW! If it's for Mumm-Ra, it must really be something! Let's open it!
{Wilykit finds a paper knife and slits the envelope. She unfolds the piece of paper and she and Wilykat start to read}
think about this mumms,
WILYKIT: Taking a chance, isn't he? I don't know many people who'd dare to call Mumm-Ra "mumms".
WILYKAT: Unless this person:
A, isn't male OR
B, is a faggot who thinks he and Mumm-Ra should hit it off together.
WILYKIT: Twenty Thunderdollars on "faggot"! And screw what Snarf said about gambling!
if I wasn't there to
WILYKAT: Lick your shoes and act as your personal body slave!
WILYKIT: Yo! {she checks the name of the poster} Um, D.O.T. - is it true Mumm-Ra has orgies at his Pyramid?
WILYKAT: Yeah - and is it true you once tried to bed everyone on Third Earth?
annoy the hell out of you,
WILYKIT {disappointed}: So much for orgies. {she sighs}. Still, I wish someone WOULD "annoy the hell out of Mumm-Ra"
WILYKAT: That "mumms" remark's probably gonna do that.
WILYKIT: Too true - a pissed-off Mumm-Ra ain't a pretty sight. {she shakes her head and laughs}
WILYKAT: And he'll be mighty pissed when he finds out this D.O.T. person's trying it on with him!
how many
WILYKIT: D.O.T.s does it take to change a light-bulb?
WILYKAT: None! They're all so busy trying to flaunt whatever it is that passes for intelligence among then that they never bothered to invent electricity!
WILYKIT: And no electricity equals . . . no light-bulbs!
really fun messages would there be on here?
WILYKAT {rolls his eyes}: I take it THIS is your idea of a "really fun message" huh, D.O.T.?
WILYKIT: Hey, maybe he meant "really DUMB messages" - like the sort some Whiddaw dork used to send! Remember him?
WILYKAT {shakes his head as he remembers}: Sure thing! All that "Thundercats Are MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!" crap had us working overtime for months
WILYKIT: I'm still amazed how we managed to keep Mumm-Ra and co from getting at them - they'd just LOVE to use stuff like that against us.
like none!!!
WILYKIT: Looks like someone forgot the difference between a sentence and a phrase. Oh, and multiple exclamation marks are a big no-no.
WILYKAT {imitating Snarf's voice}: Now you sit down and learn how to write in proper sentences - snarf snarf!
WILYKIT: And no more writing to "mumms" unless you get at least one C this semester!
I may be a jerk,
WILYKIT: A truer word was never spoken, my dear D.O.T.! {she rolls her eyes}
WILYKAT: I can already think of a few more choice adjectives for this person - like "pea-brained" and "loser"!
WILYKIT: To say nothing of "motherfucker"!
but you
WILYKAT: Are a moron who needs to get a life and stop bugging Mumm-Ra with rubbish
WILYKIT: Just as a quick disclaimer, we are not defending Mumm-Ra - we are just getting pissed off by this self-confessed jerk.
ALL have to admit it,
WILYKIT: D.O.T. is a jerk with no functioning brain!
WILYKAT: And it wouldn't surprise me if his parents were brother and sister or something.
WILYKIT: Yeah - you only get this kind of moronic crap from an inbred cretin.
WILYKAT: And D.O.T. ranks right up there with Whiddaw and that snowmobile-fixated dork who couldn't stop typing in freakin' caps. . . {he pauses} Er, Kit - what was the name of that snowmobile dude?
WILYKIT {racks her brain}: Justin Sonnentag - but I seem to recall he also called himself Stone Cold. That's not important, though; the question is what exactly does all this MEAN? {she points disdainfully to D.O.T.'s message}
I made it more interesting.
WILYKIT: You sure do, mate! Nothing like a piece of complete trash to brighten up an otherwise dull day! {she rolls her eyes, indicating that her last remarks should be taken as sarcasm}
WILYKAT: Right, like anyone's gonna be interested in your ramblings. Think I should give Mandora a call to see if she's had any breakouts lately?
WILYKIT: Later - I want to see if D.O.T. learns to say something sensible by the end of this.
WILYKAT: Assuming he even knows what the word "sensible" means . . .
Now you can either
WILYKIT: Learn to keep your fucked up remarks to yourself!
WILYKAT: Or take your sorry ass elsewhere! 'Cos you're making yourself about as welcome as a Reptilian in the Berbil Village!
delete this
WILYKIT: I'm starting to wish someone would delete D.O.T.!
WILYKAT: Mumm-Ra'll probably see to that if this dork keeps on posting such junk!
{Wilykat rolls his eyes}
and go on w/
WILYKIT: Eh? What the hell is "w/" supposed to mean?
WILYKAT: That someone is either too dumb or too lazy to write the word "with" in full.
WILYKIT: What did D.O.T. say when he saw a dictionary?
{Wilykat pauses for several seconds}
WILYKIT: Give up? {Wilykat nods} Wow! Now I can reach to kiss my girlfriend!
WILYKAT: Or boyfriend, as the case may be . . .
your boring lives
WILYKIT: Dear Kettle, I think I'd better inform you that YOU ARE BLACK! Best wishes, D.O.T. - er, I mean Pot
WILYKAT: Talking of pot, it wouldn't surprise me if old D.O.T. is drug-addled on top of being a cretin!
WILYKIT: As Panthro once said: "always a bad combination"!
WILYKAT: And it seems D.O.T. must have a pretty dull life if he can't find anything better to do than post these loads of tosh.
posting crap
WILYKIT: You do that right nicely on your own - thank you, D.O.T.!
WILYKAT: Hey, Kit! Know what D.O.T. stands for? Dumbass Odious Twat!
WILYKIT: With the optimum word being "dumbass"!
WILYKAT: Yeah - I still don't know what's with this guy, beyond the fact he seems to be trying to prove how thick he is.
WILYKIT: I'd say "thick as ten planks" is about right.
or keep this
WILYKIT: And use it as birdcage lining!
WILYKAT: Or kindling for a camp-fire - I can't think of any other practical uses for this. {he disdainfully waves D.O.T.'s message in the air}
and see
WILYKIT: If D.O.T. learns to say something worthwhile!
WILYKAT: Which I very much doubt . . .
WILYKIT {grumbles to herself}: Rats! Looks like we'll be stuck with him a long time then!
{Wilykit looks up at the ceiling in a silent plea for sanity}
how many posts
WILYKAT: D.O.T. can make that aren't total rubbish!
WILYKIT: Like . . . none!
that might even
WILYKAT: Serve as further proof that you are a cretin AND a loser!
agree w/ me...
WILYKIT: I'll start agreeing with you when you learn to spell "with" AND when you can get through a message without using bad sentence structure or grammar.
WILYKAT: Don't forget he still needs to learn how to write something that actually has a point.
Which is it mumms,
WILYKAT {imitating Mumm-Ra's voice as best he can}: You fucked-up cretin! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU . . . I DON'T LIKE BEING CALL "MUMMS" MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A FREAKIN' GIRL!
WILYKIT {glares at Wilykat}: Hey! I'M a girl, in case you've forgotten!
{Wilykat looks at her sheepishly}
WILYKAT: Sorry, Kit - just got a bit carried away there. And one more thing, D.O.T. - if you're using "mumms" to refer to a person . . . well, entity, you should have capitalised it.
WILYKIT: Except his brain's probably so full of junk he can't begin to grasp such abstract concepts.
The red pill or the blue pill?
WILYKAT: And what the hell do pills have to do with anything?!
WILYKIT: I think they have to do with a lot - namely that D.O.T. couldn't resist putting a reference to drug-taking in here somewhere!
WILYKAT {checks to see if there is any more to the message}: Looks like that's it . . .
WILYKIT: Good - at least we don't have to waste time reading any more of this tripe!
{Wilykit scrunches D.O.T.'s message into a ball and flings it to the floor in a gesture of exasperation}
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